A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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