Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
