I want to stick my p in your. b.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
