Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
