Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I touched a dick in church today
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
