they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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