took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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