Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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