yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
