Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I FOUND THE LEGS
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
