got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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