I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
