And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You've changed since you got that strap on
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
