I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
