it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
