Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
