I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
