He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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