She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
