If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
