I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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