Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We just shotgunned beers for America
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
