im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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