I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
