is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
