you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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