do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
