Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
