i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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