There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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