she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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