I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
