this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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