Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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