ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
