College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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