He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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