her vagine was all disorganized.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
