North Korea, Best Korea!
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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