also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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