I'm drive I can fine osifer
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
