I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The air was thick with penises
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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