he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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