I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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