i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
