You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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