so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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