That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
