Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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