I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
