Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
