C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
