It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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