so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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